My Secret

“What’s your secret?” “How do you make it work?” “You guys are always happy” These are just a few of the questions I always get asked about my relationship. Since the age of 16, we’ve had 8 strong years together. 8 years. It’s crazy when I think about it.

When listening to the Real Talk’s valentine’s episode, the question “What does a relationship mean to you?” was mentioned which inspired me to write this post as it got me thinking. An answer one of the boys said really resonated with me. “A relationship is where you find yourself in someone else.” I really couldn’t agree with this more! As corny as it sounds, you become one, you find your ‘soulmate’ as people say. You can no longer be selfish as your actions will have an effect on someone else.

People always say don’t you have any regrets of getting into a relationship so early in your life and in all honesty, I can happily say no. I have gotten to grow and learn so much with my other half and can say these past 8 years have been amazing, all the experiences people claim I have missed out on I’ve actually had equally amazing experiences with my other half. Can you imagine being able to travel half the world with someone you love, getting to experience new things with someone you love. It sounds like a dream come true to me.

Personal tips I love to share are how communication is key. In everything you do with your partner having a transparent open relationship is so important as you’ll be able to trust and understand each other as the years go by if you are able to communicate even the smallest things. And learning to give each other space, it’s not every day that you are with each other, even when you are living together. You can’t forget you have a life outside your relationship, you still need to spend time with your friends and family equally as much as your partner. Another thing that I don’t really think gets enough attention is your love language. Being able to know your own love language as well as your partners’ is a great thing. You will both then be able to treat each other in the way one likes to be treated. I guess this ties together with communication, but I think it’s a key thing to know. Words of affirmation, physical touch, receiving gifts, acts of service and quality time are the 5 love languages if you didn’t already know. Find out yours!

But let’s not be naïve no relationship in the world is smooth sailing. With every relationship, friendship or acquaintance you will face trials and tribulations. All I can say is with every issue you face, just remember God is at the centre of your relationship and will pull you through it. There’s been real low times, but God has always been able to come through and provide a shining light at the end of the tunnel and all I can say is thank you. On the other hand, me getting in a relationship so early doesn’t mean you need to be panicking and thinking when will my time come. I feel like there is now a social pressure to find love and be with someone because you see so many people around you in a relationship. You may not necessarily be ready and still need to focus on developing yourself before being committed. This is completely understandable. Don’t rush things and end up being with the wrong person for you.

I’m no relationship wizard but either way I hope you were able to relate with me in one way or another and wish you success in your relationships and friendships!

Anon.

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