The Narcissistic Community

PsychologyToday defines a narcissist as someone with a lack of ability to empathize with others and an inflated sense of self-importance.

From this stems the Narcissistic Personality Disorder characterised by people frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. They may also concentrate on personal fantasies (e.g. their own success, beauty, brilliance) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. This is our community.

“A house divided against itself cannot stand” – Matthew 12:25. In that same instance, a community where its incumbents seek only the interests of themselves cannot succeed.

Have you ever just stopped to think about why the black community is in a lot of cases inferior to those of the Asian, European and White demographics in terms of collective wealth, start ups and franchise? Think about your local high street. Why is it that the bossmans of the mini market and PFC have taken over the strip? Where are the black businesses?

This here flags a fault in the current dynamics of the African-Caribbean demographic. Are we so pompous as a community that we cannot support, promote and benefit from the successes of each other? There is so much competition out there already. How can we now add to the difficulties of our own wanting to succeed in their endeavours due to our own selfishness, jealousy and pride? Madness.

Take a look at the communities of the Jewish for example. Less than 0.2% of the world is Jewish, yet are 11% of the world’s billionaires, and 20% of the world’s richest 50 people. The rumoured correlation between the Jewish community and wealth seems to hold some elements of truth. How is it that a community with a history – much like the blacks – of oppression and racial prosecution continues to do so well. To what do they owe their success? Before delving into this blog I did some research into these sources of success. Having sifted through several articles, one underlying theme of community values to help and love one another became a common factor.

We need to get out of the Scarcity Mentality and into the mentality of Abundance. A lot of us scripted to the Scarcity Mentality see life as having only so much. Success for you means less success for me right? Wrong.

“People with a Scarcity Mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit – even with those who help in the production. They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the successes of other people – even, and sometimes especially, members of their own family or close friends and associates”. – Stephen Kovey in ‘The 7 Habits of highly effective people’.

The Abundance Mentality, lacks the envious attributes and other typical insecurities of the Scarcity mindset. It is the understanding that there is enough for everybody. Success for you, means success for me. A win-win for all. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and the creativity needed to accelerate success in our community.

What does this mean for us? We need to foster a community that is symbiotic. Put simply, promoting your sisters’ project and supporting your brothers’ hustle. Alot of us have started exploring talent by doing creative things: photography, YouTube, events, music, podcasts, hair, and blogs (among others). While this is great, seldom will they turn into bread winning endeavours overnight. Less so if the community of its grassroots does not accelerate its success. The need and want for more black faces ‘going clear’ is not scarce. But it is not possible in a house (a community) divided against itself.

This is easily done. First and foremost beginning with you. It takes a second to retweet, share and upload what others are doing. Thinking “no one will see it” or “I don’t know anyone that will need” or even an absence of being bothered – this isn’t it. You never know what your retweet to the TL or upload to a snapchat story could do. Be the first one to step in and say ‘my boy does X’ or ‘one of my girls can provide Y’ when you hear of a need that can be met by someone in your circles – immediate or not. You/we need to make use of our own talents and resources or no one will. Black businesses matter!

“Those that are diligent in their work will perform before Kings” – Proverbs 22:29. A word to the black businesses and content creators. If you are going to do something do it well. Do not allow your poor output or lack of basic customer service to feed into the predisposed mentality that ‘a white man can do it better’. This in itself weighs significantly into the efforts towards a thriving community. Credits to those that already commit to producing the best end products.

We hope that the new year can bring on new successes and new levels of growth in our community.

Much love,

The RealTalk Team

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